Where have I been? Out of the darkness

I realize that I haven’t updated my blog in a long long time.. Over 6 to 10 months.. This is not good. When I first started this blog many years ago.. my objective was to inform and entertain., Somewhere along the way.. I got distracted and lost my way.

So here we are at the end of 2018 and I need to get back to my roots. I will make it my point to put up posts that are entertaining and informative.. My new focus will be to talk about things that surround me in my day to day life that amuse me and at times, just tick me off.

2018 has been an year of re-awakening for me.. It’s been over 3 year since my divorce. So I’m going to tell the blogging world some stuff that I’ve been going through for the past 3

For the past 3 years I lived in survival mode. I was living in Red Bank, NJ in a small 1 bedroom and was putting my life back together financially and emotionally. To say that the past 3 years have been humbling, is an understatement. I thought highly of myself as a homeowner, parent, and husband. I was proud of my achievements (I think a bit arrogant).  I had this swagger and this led to my downfall in all areas of these areas.

With the divorce, I had to sell my marital home,  adjust my parenting style and as a divorced father, I had to realize that the divorce was not caused just by her but I had to accept ownership of my contributions,

What made me to come to this revelation? Well it’s a combination of multiple things.. Introspection, my friends, long walks, Tennis (yes this is and will continue to be my passion), therapy and having to do a hard reset to almost every facet of my life.  Financially, the monetary devastation the divorce brought to me, taught me  that  money comes and goes, but relationships last for ever.

Without my friends, I would have never see the light at the end of the tunnel. My two closest friends, stood by me as my emotional ups and down took a toll on them as well. Yet both of my friends were always there for me. Whenever I wanted, all I had to do was call them and they were there. Be it on the tennis court or just having me over and allowing me to vent my frustrations at my situation.

My two girls (whom I’ve written about on this blog many many times), showed me what unconditional love is. The divorce affected each of them quite differently. One was matter of fact accepting and the other the divorce affected her deeply. Yet regardless, they showed me the love and support that only children can give to you. They were there for me whenever I needed them. Even as I at times was emotionally unavailable for them, they were always there for me.

I had to figure out a balance and between my issues with the divorce to being a loving parent to my girls.

My dysfunctional life at work was consistent..

  • To have your ex-wife working in the same physical work location and seeing her almost every day, brought out much emotion.  Almost every emotion I experienced, was not positive (anger, disdain, contempt, sadness, dread, and many many more..) . It took me 2+ year to come to grips that the daily dysfunction enabled me to compartmentalize my thoughts.  I was able to separate my emotions and come to a level of acceptance that this dysfunction will always be a part of my for as long as both of us work in the same physical location
  • My best friend is the boss of my ex-wife and kudos to him, our friendship was strained as he saw both me and my ex-wife every day and he was thrust into the firing zone. What amazes me is that P he maintained a balance to have an employee that was his best friend’s ex-wife. I’m not sure I could have handled this dysfunction.

So where am I today?

  • I became a homeowner at the beginning of this year and continued to regain my financial health.
  • I’m focused on my mental and physical well being. I’m learning to appreciate the little things in life and above all enjoy myself..

Where am I going?

  • I love writing and it’s therapy for me to write Dad’s Taxi. I need to go back to my roots and write about things that express my life.
  • When I look at the state of my blog, it needs a revamp and will be doing this over the next few month.

 

 

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